Saying Goodbye: Most Commonly Asked Questions
Imagine your last day on Earth. How would you want to go? Many of us picture being surrounded by our loved ones and drifting off to sleep. This is the gift of euthanasia for our pets. When they are sick, injured, or their quality of life has deteriorated, our animals rely on us to give a peaceful passing to them.
Saying goodbye to your pet can be the most difficult decision you ever have to make. You don’t want to wait too long, but it can be so hard to prepare yourself. It can be challenging to understand what your pet is going through, as they can’t tell us. Some days they seem to be better, then the next they look and feel terrible. So how can you know when it is time? As veterinarians, we have been through the process of letting go of our animals with thousands of pet owners. We are here to help explain what is happening in your pet’s body and behavior.
Euthanizing your pet affects us too. If you call for a euthanasia appointment and we require an exam first, please know it is to make sure you have all the information on your pet’s condition and that our veterinarians are comfortable performing the injection. We do NOT perform “convenience euthanasia” (i.e. there is nothing medically/behaviorally wrong with the animal, it just isn’t wanted by the owner anymore). Our veterinarians can decline to perform any euthanasia they do not feel is necessary. At the end of the day, we have to do what we must to sleep at night. Our hospital works with a number of rescue groups and we are happy to refer you to one if you are looking to rehome your pet.
Over our years of experience, we’ve put together a list of the most common questions in hopes that they will help at this trying time:
How will I know when it’s time?
What determines a good quality of life is as different for pets as it is for people. Some animals live to play, others are content to sit in your lap and watch Jeopardy at the end of the night. You know your pet best out of anyone else in the world! Here are some things to consider when you are evaluating your pet’s happiness:
Do they have pain/anxiety? Is it affecting their lives? Can they still do the things they love, like chase a ball, jump up on the bed, eat food, etc.? Is their pain/anxiety manageable? (Please talk to your vet about all your options!)
Are they able/willing to eat and drink enough to sustain them? Are they having unmanageable vomiting and diarrhea? Wasting away can be a long and uncomfortable process. Remember, their last day doesn’t have to be their worst day.
Are they having accidents in the house? Some animals can be REALLY upset by this and spend the day hiding because they have spent a lifetime trying NOT to do this. Other times, it is an unmanageable situation for the family. Round-the-clock caregiving can take its toll on the relationship you have with your pet, and they can sense it.
Are you able to take care of your pet’s needs? If you have a 150lb dog that is unable to walk, it may not be feasible to keep going. If your cat is a diabetic and tries to bite when you attempt insulin injections, this may not be a sustainable situation. You are not letting your animal down by electing to euthanize. You are saving them from discomfort and stress.
What can I expect coming into a euthanasia appointment?
As soon as you arrive, we will get you and your pet immediately into room. Please call us from the parking lot if you would like to bypass our lobby or need assistance from your vehicle! We are happy to bring you in through the back door and can provide a stretcher if needed.
A big comfy bed is available for your pet, pheromones are being diffused, and calming music is playing-we want you and your pet to be as comfortable as possible! The veterinarian will come in and determine if an exam is necessary and walk you through the process so there are no surprises. A receptionist will check you out in the room and review your aftercare options so you don’t have to worry about these things after your pet has passed.
After the veterinary assessment, your pet will receive two injections. The first is a sedative so your pet is relaxed and not scared. They know you are upset and may be fearful because of it. Once your pet is asleep and you have said goodbye, the veterinarian will give your pet an injection in a vein. It is an overdose of an anesthetic agent. Your pet will be so deeply under anesthesia that their heart will stop. It does not hurt and takes no longer than a few minutes. Your veterinarian will tell you when their heart has stopped.
An animal’s eyes will usually stay open after they are gone. Sometimes they will have a reflex spasm of the diaphragm, which is a muscle that has been working since they were born. When this happens, it looks like a breath even though they have passed. It doesn’t happen often, but if it does, we don’t want you to be startled! Other muscles can tense as well, including the colon or bladder, which means sometimes pets will urinate/defecate when they die.
Can I be present when my pet passes?
You are welcome to be with your pet in their final moments. After your pet has passed, you may stay in the room as long as you need. When you are ready, a technician will show you out the back door so you don’t have to go through the lobby.
If you decide you can’t be present, please know one of our technical staff will be loving and petting them while they go. They are usually asleep at this point from the sedative.
What are my options for aftercare?
Home Burial - Please ensure the body is secured in a thick plastic bag and buried at least 3 feet deep. The medication used to euthanize an animal can be lethal to any other animals that get to the remains.
General Cremation - This is cremation where you DO NOT get your pet’s ashes back. The company we use spreads the ashes in an apple orchard purchased specifically for this purpose.
Private Cremation - This is cremation where you DO get your pet’s “cremains” back. There are some options available online now to make things out of the ashes, such as necklaces, crystals, etc. If you are interested in a specialty urn, please let us know and we can show you some options. Otherwise, ashes are returned in a floral printed box with your pet’s name on it.
**Please note: You are welcome to have toys, collars, or other personal effects cremated with your pet but be aware pricing is by weight.
Should I bring my other pet to the appointment?
Sometimes the most heartbreaking thing to see once your pet is gone, is the other pet’s struggle to understand their buddy isn’t coming home. Animals go through a mourning process just like people, and it can help them through the progression if they comprehend the other pet is deceased.
You are welcome to bring another pet with you to the euthanasia appointment if you feel it will help them to know their friend has died. Some choose to have them present during the whole appointment; others bring them in from the car after the pet has passed. Again, you know your animals best, so do what you think is right for them! We are happy to work with your decision.
What is veterinary hospice care?
Hospice is planning for your pet’s end-of-life options and making sure their quality of life is as good as it can be until then. Your veterinary team can help with pain control, appetite stimulation, fluid support, medication administration, etc. Ask us your questions! We have many palliative care options, including acupuncture, laser therapy, and Chinese herbs!
What if I want my pet to pass at home?
Some people believe strongly in letting their pet have a “natural death”. We like to think they will just “drift away”, which is rarely the case. Animals do not understand what is happening as they are dying and sometimes will fight the losing battle with all their might, which may be an unpleasant way to go. Should you decide to go this route, please contact us so we can make sure you have the tools you need to keep your pet as comfortable as possible.
Most days, we are not able to leave our hospitalized patients to perform euthanasia at the home, but we have some excellent colleagues that can. If you would prefer this option, please contact our friends at the following:
I’m having an especially hard time and could use a little help. What can help me through this?
Losing a loved one is devastating, no matter the species! There are many resources available now to help with the grief from your loss. Here are some of our favorite resources:
Dove Lewis Pet Loss Support
Lap of Lova Pet Loss and Grief Resources
Help Guide’s Coping with a Lost Pet
Books written and illustrated by Christine Davis of Lighthearted Press celebrating “forever dogs” and “forever cats” because “each will always have a forever place in my heart.” You can find the names of her forever pets hidden in the art throughout the books, always there if you look for them.